


Did You Eat Today?

by Cutebutpsycho



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: If you know the ending that follows it, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:11:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9444938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cutebutpsycho/pseuds/Cutebutpsycho
Summary: Looking back on it, neither of them could say when they knew they loved each other in a different way than what the monks espoused. Not that it was a bad love – just different. Maybe the monks knew before them, which would explain why they were often paired together for training, guard duties, kitchen tasks and other day-to-day chores.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My take on Baze/Chirrut after a long discussion on Tumblr about how some saw their relationship as "platonic" and I saw them as an old married couple. No beta. Barely universe compliant.

Looking back on it, neither of them could say when they knew they loved each other in a different way than what the monks espoused. Not that it was a bad love – just different. Maybe the monks knew before them, which would explain why they were often paired together for training, guard duties, kitchen tasks and other day-to-day chores.

After all, they had known each other since they were small. Chirrut was always more dogmatic in his beliefs, following the monks’ teachings to the letter. Baze was the skeptic, eventually coming around to the teachings. But that could have been due to age.

Like most acolytes, the boys were brought to the temple by their families. The families were often poor, pledging their children to uphold the teachings in exchange for food, shelter and education. Chirrut had been there for as long as he could remember, whereas Baze arrived when he was about eight – old enough to remember the look of resigned and stoic sadness when his grandfather dropped him off with a pat on his head and the admonishment to be good and listen to the monks.

“Baze,” the elders said, escorting the boy into a small dorm lined with bunk beds, “This is Chirrut. He will be your partner.”

Baze stared at the small boy – a few years younger, thin as a reed with close cropped hair. Chirrut’s eyes were cloudy, but his head motions made it clear he was tracking the sound of the elders and Baze.

“Master, are you sure?” Baze asked. “He’s blind and a baby.”

The elder chuckled. “Despite that, Chirrut will have much to show you.”

Two sparring sessions later, where Baze found himself laying on his back, out of breath and badly beaten did he believe his elder.

Chirrut held out his hand, “Did you eat?” he asked.

“What?”

“Did you eat?” he said, grabbing Baze’s hand and pulling him up to standing. Putting an arm around his waist, he helped Baze move forward. “Come. You need to rest after that.”

“I’m fine,” Baze snapped.

“No,” Chirrut’s voice was patient and calm. “You’ve been wounded.”

“Where?”

“Your pride,” Chirrut grinned. “Now come, eat.”

~*~

“Did you eat?” Baze asked. They were sitting up at night, guarding the temple. The air was cold – not surprising for a desert planet, but not surprising doesn’t prevent the chill.

“Yes,” Chirrut said. “But I’m not hungry anymore. Do you want what I have left?”

“I’m fine,” Baze hoped Chirrut couldn’t hear his stomach growling. He had given up a portion of his food – the majority to be precise – to that young beggar girl. She was so young and her face so worn that he couldn’t help but pile all his rations into her bowl. Let her and her family have some joy, he thought, I can live today without food.

Chirrut leaned up against him and placed the satchel in his lap. “If you don’t eat it, it will go bad,” he lecutured, staring into nothing. “Really, I’m full.”

“You saw what I did earlier,” Baze groused, but accepted the packet.

“I can’t see,” Chirrut replied. “I’m blind, remember?”

~*~

Once would’ve been an accident, but five times, five nights in a row? That wasn’t one thing lead to another. That was trouble, Baze thought.

Which is how he found himself sitting in the elder’s room, confessing everything to the head monk.

“I can no longer be with Chirrut,” he said. “For the past five nights, we’ve had –” he could feel his cheeks flare with embarrassment and a bit of shame. Even though they were young men, Chirrut was supposed to be on the path of enlightenment and that required celibacy, free from other expressions of love and desire.

“I understand,” the monk said.

“No you don’t,” Baze snapped. “I took advantage of him. It’s not right. He’s supposed to be seeking enlightenment while I protect him and now –” he shrugged helplessly. “I can’t do that objectively. I will be greedy with him. He needs to be free of those entanglements to reach enlightenment.”

The monk’s eyebrows raised and a smile spread across his face as he began to chuckle. Baze’s shame grew even more.

“What’s so funny?” he barked. “I made him break an oath.”

The laughter was loud and long for several minutes. “Did he not tell you he rejected enlightenment?” the monk wiped the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his robe.

Chirrut had decided to forgo his personal enlightenment to help others, the elder explained. He insisted on keeping his earthly attachments so that he could help the acolytes reach their full potential.

By the end of the explanation, Baze’s cheeks burned, but not from humiliation. Storming off, he headed to Chirrut’s quarters.

“Did you eat?” Chirrut said, as he heard the door slam open.

“Why didn’t you tell me you chose to teach?” Baze snapped, ignoring the greeting.

Chirrut, turning to him with a beatific smile on his face, replied, “I didn’t think it was necessary for you to know.”

“And all this time I thought I was corrupting you,” Baze muttered as he flopped down on the sleeping mat. Chirrut’s hand gently went to move his long locks out of his face. “Turns out you’re the corrupter.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Chirrut said as he sat next to Baze. “I made this choice long ago, before our encounters.”

“But how on earth did all the elders know?”

“You’re not exactly quiet,” Chirrut replied.

~*~

Chirrut and Baze. Baze and Chirrut. From then on, the two were known as that. Rarely as just Chirrut and rarely as just Baze. The two names were tied together.

As Chirrut taught the young children, Baze could be found nearby, teaching other acolytes how to fight. The monks could hear the minor squabbles about whether or not the Force existed, whether the other had enough to eat and whether the other was warm enough.

It was a lovely time.

Then the empire struck.

As the temple fell, Baze practically had to throw Chirrut over his shoulder to help him escape – so badly Chirrut wanted to fight until the end, until he could vanquish all the stormtroopers.

“No,” Baze grabbed his arm. “Stay alive. If you live, then the teachings live.”

For once, Chirrut agreed and they fled. Chirrut continued his teachings, even though he was largely ignored by many, while Baze – armed and on alert – kept watch over him. There were more squabbles about the existence of the Force.

“If the Force exists, why does this misery exist?” Baze snapped one day.

“Did you eat?” Chirrut said, avoiding the question. “You sound like you’re hungry.”

And that was how life went until the fall of Jedha and the two met Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor and Bhodi Rook.

~*~

Until the final moments, Baze never trusted the Force. Never really believed in it because it hadn’t protected him or Chirrut.

Chirrut was the believer, always chanting “I am one with the Force, the Force is with me.”

But now Chirrut was gone.

_Look to the Force and you will find me._

Baze stood, took a deep breath and charged forward. This time he had faith he would find Chirrut in the Force.

 


End file.
